wait, what?

Where I work at a children's clothing store, when someone does a return, I am required to ask the reason. Most of the time, the customer answers with one of two things: (1) It didn't fit, or (2) he/she didn't like it.

The past few days, I've been doing a lot of returns, and I've noticed some people get really lengthy about their reason. I have to fit their reason into a category to type into the cash register (for example "poor fit," "size exchange," "customer preference," or "defective.")

Today, I filed two particular returns under "customer preference," and I cannot stop thinking about either.

First, a women came in with various pieces of clothing in toddler sizes. She had a skirt, sweater, sweatshirt and tights. Each piece was pink. When I asked her the mandatory "was there anything wrong with these?" she said "No, I just absolutely do not allow my daughters to wear pink." She then proceeded to spend the next half hour searching our store for non-pink toddler girl clothing (it was not easy). **

The next return I processed was for a boy's size large long sleeved t-shirt featuring The Incredible Hulk, Wolverine, Captain America and Iron Man. I love this t-shirt, and I have even considered squeezing my not-skinny self into the largest size. Whenever a little boy picks it out, I tell them about how it is my favorite. When I asked the customer the reason for the return, she explained, "Well, all of my kids are really into comic books. My ex bought this shirt for all of my kids. It's alright for the boys, but girls just can't wear shirts like this."

Wait, what?

Maybe it was because pink is my favorite color and I can't imagine telling a child they can't wear color they like. Maybe it was because the other women returned a shirt I had considered buying for myself saying it was something girls shouldn't wear. I keep wondering if the children had any say in if their Christmas presents got returned.

If pink is typically for girls, then why is it bad for a girl to look "typical?" Is there something wrong with looking like a girl? Does prohibiting a color make it more appealing? Shouldn't a child's words, thoughts and actions tell more about them than what color they are wearing? If a child's clothes are comfortable, well fit, and warm does it matter what color they are? Can girls like pink and also be empowered, smart and thoughtful?

If comic books are typically for boys, what happens when girls like them? Will people automatically assume she is a boy for wearing a shirt from the boy's department? Do they only sell Avengers Comics to men and boys? Is there anything wrong with being a boy? How is this girl going to feel when all of her brothers have the same shirt, but hers was returned because she is a girl?

What are the gift-givers going to say when they never see these children wearing these particular items of clothing?

Is anyone else infuriated by this? I grew up wearing clothes from the boys and girls departments, and I didn't grow up to be any less of a girl.

We should spend more time teaching our kids to be grateful for a gift they receive, instead of deciding on their behalf that something needs returned because a well-meaning relative bought it in the wrong color/department.

**I am obviously not sure, but by the tone of her voice, I assumed the "no pink" rule had to do with gender stereotypes, and not wanting her daughters to fit them.