A Note to My Best Friend

Dear Friend,

"Keep your pimp hand strong, in case you have to hit someone with it."

You said that to me once or twice. That is some good solid advice, if I do say so myself. Except I don't imagine you'd ever have to use your pimp hand for anything. You loved everyone, and we loved you in return, but never like you deserved.

Also, Pespi is gross. Really, really gross. Especially the flat Pepsi I found in the fridge, that is gross, but I'm drinking it anyway. There's probably like, rivers of Pepsi in heaven. I sure hope it tastes better than this.

I have to go to work soon, so I can't wear the green harry potter shirt. I can't go decorate the tree. Somehow, this year, life went on, and I couldn't get around it. But I'm still thinking of you.

It's been 5 years, Em. Five long years. I don't know what I've done without you. My life changed when I met you. You were my best friend. You are my best friend. Life and death doesn't need to change that.

When you died, it didn't make any sense. You didn't do anything wrong. It was a "drunk driving" accident, but you were innocent. You weren't driving. It was 3 pm, perfect daylight. It was a Sunday. The man who hit your car had repeat offense DUIs and a suspended license. Taking away his license didn't do anything, he still got in his car and killed you anyway.

So, 5 years later, we're all still here on Earth (thank God) missing you. Everyone moved away, left Cuyahoga Falls, and made new friends in college. Everything changes, but one fact doesn't ever change. I always miss you and wonder what you are up to.

I wish you were here now. 5 years ago we were worrying about starting senior year of high school, and today I'm worrying about starting my life. One semester of college left. One Harry Potter movie left. It's like a whole different world.

It's crazy to think you've been gone for 5 years.

Your picture is still on the shelf right above my bed, and I never stop go a day without looking at it. You taught me so much, Em. You taught me about friendship and love and life, and I'm am always grateful for what we had.

We didn't have enough time together, Em. There was so much left we wanted to do, so many things we talked about. Some of them I did without you.

Some of them I never did at all.

I know someday we'll be together, again, friend. Someday.

Until then, God, please keep her safe.

Please keep us safe.